*The following is my personal life experience and opinion. I do not claim to be expressing the views, doctrine, or policies of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.*
As I have mentioned I am a member of the LDS faith. And to put some context into this story let me give a little background. In our church we believe that we are saved by grace after all we can do. We believe Jesus Christ died for us and He is our Savior. We believe that through Hosnatoent we can repent and be cleansed from sin. But we also believe that we are to stand before God at the final judgment to be judged for our works. I also believe that our thoughts lead us to our works so essentially we are judged based on our thoughts, words, and deeds. We also believe that a temple is a holy place where we can be in God’s presence to know him better. And in order to enter the temple we must be found worthy to do so. My thoughts are based from a conversation I had with an individual. It’s not a long conversation it just went like this. Me: “I’m not going to the temple.” Individual: “Well why?” Why.... That’s a great question. Well here are my thoughts. First and foremost I am not a perfect individual. We make mistakes on a daily basis. Also our spiritual journey in life is completely PERSONAL. You will not be judged based on your family. You will not be judged based on what your friends do. No matter how much your parents, siblings, children, or spouses pray for you, It is still your choices and your HEART that determine your spiritual progression. What I mean about heart is we all have desires. We all have emotions! We all have experiences in our life, whether positive or negative, that have changed and molded us into who we are at this very second. Some experiences in my life have really hurt me. I have experienced trauma. I have experienced poverty. I have experienced bullying. I have experienced abuse. I have experienced complete and utter loneliness. But I have also experienced complete and earth shattering JOY. I used to feel shame for how I felt from those experiences. I used to feel guilt for not being perfect. I used to feel that I could not make any mistake because I had to be “the strong one.” All of my feelings are VALID and REAL. I am no longer going to feel shame or guilt for where I am in my life. AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU! It is okay to recognize your imperfections. It is normal to feel fear and doubt. It is normal to sin. It is normal to want to be careful with our hearts. It is normal to make decisions based on WHAT YOU WANT. Basically what I am trying to say is this. If you feel unworthy for God’s love, I have felt that too. If you feel unworthy to worship, I have felt that too. If you are angry with yourself because you sin, I have felt that too. Acknowledge where you are and do your best to move forward. God does not expect perfection but He does expect that we try our best. So let’s be kind and non judgmental of one another. We are all trying to stay on the spiritual path as best we can. Love always, Chelsea Margo
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This was originally written on January 13th 2018
Hey there! My name is Chelsea and I decided to start a blog to write down my thoughts and experiences as I begin a new year. To start off Happy New Year everyone! New Years have always been exciting and difficult for me. My birthday is at the end of December and so there are many things happening all at once. I’m getting older. The year is ending. A new year is beginning. Time feels like it’s flying by. I’m proud of what I have accomplished. But it is so bittersweet to realize all that I have not accomplished. I titled this Honesty is the best Policy because I dont want to feel like I need to hold anything back in this blog. My goal is to teach myself how to be completely open and vulnerable while still keeping my dignity and self worth. Some things about me you should know. I am a third grade teacher and I love it. It is so difficult and rewarding all at the same time. I am a Mormon. Which means I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I believe Jesus is my Savior and Redeemer. He is yours too. I’m the second oldest of seven children in my family. I adore and love them. Now here goes the honest and vulnerable part. I suffer from Anxiety and Depression every day. I am very overweight and have struggled with my body image since I was 7 years old. Food is a comfort to me and I frequently find myself overeating. I also grew up in poverty so food meant happiness. If there was good food around we would eat it all. So as you can see, food is an issue that I need to deal with. Despite these struggles, I strive to thank God daily for my life and the people who love and support me. I started writing this post while sitting in my car in the Walmart parking lot. I had just gotten fast food thinking it would help me feel better. Then I was going to go spend money. Also to try to make myself feel better. I hope I am not the only one that has ever done this. Thank goodness that I had the sense to sit there and reconsider why I was doing what I was doing. Going to shop was not the answer to why I was feeling sad. Spending money was not going to help me feel in control. At the moment before I got out of my car I went on Instagram and watched a post by a girl I’ve never met. She’s one that I frequently follow and she said something to this affect. “Decide why you do the things that you do.” It is brave to acknowledge when you might not be doing the right thing. It is common for us to be defensive about our decisions instead of really digging down to why you do the things you do. Thanks to her, I woke up out of my depressed coma. I drove home and spent time with my family. Thank goodness for them! ❤️ I have frequently thought that I should share my thoughts on a blog. I don’t know if anyone will ever read this. But I know that I am happy when I share the things that I learn with others. And so instead of going and buying things that I really don’t need, I decided to say “NO.” I will not give in to my depression. I will not feel sad about my life I will not feel shame in who I am and what I’m going through. My goal in writing my thoughts and feelings will not to be to dwell on the negative. BUT INSTEAD ACKNOWLEDGE STRUGGLE AND PAIN. ACKNOWLEDGE HOW YOU FEEL. DON’T FEEL SHAME BECAUSE OF YOUR FEELINGS. BUT ALSO KNOW THAT THERE ARE WAYS TO SUCCEED. YOU CAN TRIUMPH OVER YOUR BAD DAYS. YOU ARE MORE CAPABLE THAN YOU GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT FOR. Thanks for reading ❤️ Love always, Chelsea |